March 20, 2011

There are not words so all I can say is that I am just overwhelmed with the good willed people that came out to Grayson's Fundraiser today. A wonderful group of women including my mother, Aunt Jenny, Aunt Donna, Aunt Charlotte, and Eileen & Meg Neville sacrificed several months of Friday evenings to plan a  local fundraiser for Grayson. Today all of their hard work produced a wonderful sold-out event that surpassed any expectation I could have had for a fundraiser. It was truly amazing to see all of the people who were so willing to donate and give for this cause. There aren't words to describe the loving kindness I felt as I walked around the room. So many people have been effected in some way or another by Grayson's sickness. It is like a pebble that is tossed into the pond. The pebble doesn't realize the far reaching ripple effect it has had on its surroundings. God is so great and he is using this seemingly sad situation to reach so many with His love. I am grateful for cancer in that it provided an opportunity for God to reveal His love and mercy to me. I am grateful to Him for the opportunity to be a testimony for Him. There have been so many times when I have wanted to yell "Why God? Why is this happening?" but every time I felt that despair He would whisper "Trust me, I know what's best." After today, I understand some of the why? I cannot tell you how humbled I am when I see God's work in other people's lives because they have heard me proclaim His name through this trial. I just have all the more reason to proclaim His name because I know it is not about me, but about Him reaching those he loves and cares for. Those who have lost hope or feel abandoned or let down have a reason to hope.

My cousin Meghan gave me a book at the beginning of this journey and I have read and re-read it countless times during Grayson's illness and I just want to share it with you all. She probably didn't realize the ripple effect her son's illness would have on me and in affect on all of you. It is called "Why?" by Anne Graham Lotz. For any of you that are feeling any kind of despair or sadness or anxiety about anything it is just a comforting book of truths. Thank you all again for your continued prayers and support for my baby and family.